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In this article it is suggested that the appropriate conceptual model to use when investigating, presenting and interpreting facts involving intimate partner violence is an understanding of intimate partner violence as a gendered pattern of harm that operates as a form of social entrapment. The concept of entrapment is explained, an understanding of entrapment is contrasted with traditional approaches to thinking about intimate partner violence in the criminal justice context, and why the conceptual framing of intimate partner violence matters when applying the law to primary victims who are also offenders is discussed. The defence of self-defence for primary victims who kill their abusers and the criminal prosecution of mothers for neglectful parenting are used as case examples in this discussion.