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Real estate investment trusts, institutional investors and other global asset managers have gained a controversial reputation for becoming for-profit landlords in the public and private rental housing sector. However, in recent years of increased public attention they have sought to improve their image by presenting themselves as patient investors that are willing to focus on long-term investment rendering steady but stable cash flows with beneficial social outcomes. In this paper, we criticise this discursive reframing of the ‘patient’ or ‘responsible’ corporate landlord. Rather than contributing to affordable and sustainable housing solutions, we argue that financial profit-making remains the prime interest of actors like Ampere Gestion (France), Bartra Capital Property (Ireland) and Vonovia (Germany). In doing so, we make two contributions to ongoing debates on housing financialisation and social impact financing. First …