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This paper investigates affective–discursive dimensions of nation‐building via commemorations of nationhood within Aotearoa New Zealand to ask about how these assemblages construct feeling trajectories for citizen participants. We report auto‐ethnographic analyses of participation in specific Anzac Day war remembrance events that occurred in the capital city Wellington. Analyses point to the ways in which engagement in the choreographies of commemoration constructs varied emotion‐laden subject positions for participants and how these psycho‐social differences index and evoke contrasting memorial politics. We conclude that while the differences in affective ambience at different events may prompt citizens towards nationalistic or more conciliatory identity politics, the ceremonies create space for participants to feel and enact diverse affective practices.