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This paper explores and develops the concept of `emotion work' as used by young women talking about sexual negotiation. It suggests that `emotion work' should be viewed not simply as an analyst resource of use to social scientists, but also as a participant resource used by ordinary social members. Existing research on emotion work generally treats self-report data as offering a `transparent' window through which the behaviour `behind the talk' can be (more or less adequately) assessed. This paper proposes instead that self-report data should be considered as talk-in-interaction. Using data from our own research on young women's experiences of refusing sex, we show how young women's talk about (what analysts call) `emotion work' can be analysed as a participant resource through which young women construct consensual versions of men as emotional weaklings, and portray themselves as active agents …